Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Too much gin, very little bucket
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
