dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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