So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
