guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
