he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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