Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
