I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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