He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
