all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
