I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize