Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
