I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
How's work?
Spinning.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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