u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
