when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
