ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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