I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's blow job season.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
They have beer where we have blood.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
