If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
no more duck duck goose at the bar
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
