This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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