wat bout pragnant strippers??
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
