That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
