This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
