the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
