im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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