she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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