She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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