yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
