it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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