Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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