she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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