his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
