just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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