Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the condom got lost in my hair
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Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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