I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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