I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
