Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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