enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
