She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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