Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
