i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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