went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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