he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
