STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
