i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
