Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
