Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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