Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
