dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Randomize
