Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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