i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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