Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
