You made me cry and you don't even care
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
