How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
