thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
