I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Houston, we have a blender
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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