she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
