Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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