I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
