i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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