i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize