erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
