i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I can't turn off my feet"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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