So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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