Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
