it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
